I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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