I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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