it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
His nipple licking is glorious
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
