I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Screwed.edu
you had me at cake vodka
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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