But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
