Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
