Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
