Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
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