Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
