you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Quick, to the slutcave!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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