They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
