happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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