you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
