So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
