Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize