I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
