I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
