Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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