My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
