You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
