party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
