I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
