Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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