you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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