Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
