Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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