oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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