We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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