Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
