i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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