Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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