wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Everclear isn't food dammit
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
