He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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