After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
