So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
