he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
