woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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