it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
