drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
