So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
