So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
