11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
