So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Dating After Heartbreak
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.