i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.