I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
