I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
