Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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