he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
