oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
