I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The adults are the big ones right?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize