And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
