I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize