About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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