ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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