well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
