Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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