you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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