I skipped work to stalk him.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
