just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
