I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
