ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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