garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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