Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
