yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
