Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
