We're facebook friends in real life
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
