Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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