I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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