Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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